1. USC  97 (Last: 1)

Let's lead off with a Letterman style top-10 things $C fans/players/coaches did to pass the time before the Tressel Bowl.  

1) Scanned YouTube for the newest clips from Matt Leinart's last house party.

2) Emailed snapshots of Steve Sarkisian reclining in The Norm Chow Memorial chair in the conference room to NChow@ucla.edu

3) Text messaged those same pictures to Lane Kiffin late Monday night with the caption "Wish you were here?"

4) Volunteered to help operators screen prank calls to Mike Garrett, mostly of the O.J. variety.

5) Hired more lawyers to work on the appeal to the NCAA to have the Paul Hackett seasons stricken from the record.

6) Reminisced about the time the grounds crew misspelled "USC" in the end zone.

7) Debated whose ego would come out on top in a Keyshawn Johnson versus Terrell Owens battle.

8) Had brainstorm meeting to come up with best title for Pete's new book, settling on, "Why the Midfield Handshake is Beneath Me."

9) Read the latest updates to the "accepting gifts" portion of the NCAA rule book to see which ones would fly lowest on the radar.

10) Ran multiple simulations on EA Sports engine-driven computer, only to be on the losing end of 24-23 every time.

2. Arizona 91 (Last: 2)

One of only three teams yet to sniff conference action, the Kitties are filling up the stat sheets in the early part of what could be a 10-win season.  Bringing balance to the pass-happy offense is sophomore tailback Nic Grigsby, who has taken full advantage of the dime packages usually employed by opposing defenses.  Zona's run through the styrofoam gauntlet continues this weekend versus New Mexico.  

3. Arizona State 90 (Last: 3) 

A good Carpenter never blames his tools, and he certainly knows how to put the hammer down when necessary.  Rudy and his Renegades took care of business against an overmatched Cardinal squad on a crispy autumn evening in Tempe.  Possibly feeling guilty about handing him the Jenna Jameson award last year, the ASU wall-formers have only allowed Rudy to be out on his backside twice so far.  Note to future opponents: that is NOT the recipe for success.  

4. Oregon 89 (Last: 4) 

Now the lone soldier carrying the Northwest flag, The University of Goose Egg barely broke a sweat in dispensing of that other agriculture school from Utah.  Considering the gaudy numbers put up so far in Eugene, it would appear that Bellotti and Co. have finally schemed their way around the loss of Dennis Dixon.  Why it took eight months to do so remains a mystery.  

5. kal 85 (Last: 7) 

The weenies make it a foursome of conference brethren in the Top 25 after their systematic dismantling of Wazzu.  What might be most impressive about their performance was their 9.8 yards per carry en route to nearly 400 rushing yards.  So, with the outcome no longer in doubt and a running play all but a certainty, Berkeley still picked up first-down yardage on every carry.  Teddy's Bears get their first road test in Baltimore when they engage the Turtles of Maryland.  

6. UCLA  81 (Last: 6) 

Just like their crosstown homies, El Lay enjoyed a siesta week, giving Ricky more time to bask in the glow of his... err... the team's OT victory last Monday.  Having knocked off the No. 18 ranked team once, Kevin "Not like the Mac and Cheese" Craft will try and repeat his performance (half of it, anyways) in an attempt to knock off the new No. 18 team.  Oddly enough, this will be the second time in their last three games that the Bruins will match up with BYU, hoping to avenge the Las Vegas Bowl field goal debacle.    

7. Stanford 80 (Last: 5)

Although the final score wasn't so pretty, impartial and partial observers alike could see that the Card put up a sporting fight and escaped the desert relatively unscathed.  The big story line heading into the TCU game and, most likely, for the rest of the season, is how the QB position will play out.  Carousel?  Pick one and stick with him?  Donate one to the WR corps?  Burn the prodigy's redshirt?  Stay tuned to your local EUTM feed for the answers.  

8. Oregon State 68 (Last: 8)

The irony of THE Oregon State University losing so badly at a road venue called "Beaver Stadium" is not lost on this Boot Computer Analyst.

Lost, however, was the opportunity to prove last week's offensive outburst against Stanford was an indication that this year's Riley Rats were not going to rely on a strong second half to make a bowl appearance.  On the bright side of the dam, their next game against the Warriors formerly known as the Rainbow Warriors means they get the non-BCS version of this horribly depleted squad.

9. Washington 40 (Last: 10)

It was nine years ago that Ty first got the short end of the officiating stick at Husky stadium, but it certainly wouldn't be the last time.  What makes this latest zebra gaffe even more odious was that it happened to his home team, in the closing seconds, and prevented You-Dubb from a possible season-turning win, certainly dooming T-Will and his staff to the unemployment line.  If you happened to see the Husky sideline footage moments after the blocked XP attempt, you would have been witness to all of these thoughts being played out in facial expression theater on one of the most dour mugs in all of sports.  

10. Washington State 20 (Last: 9)

Do you think new headset warmer Paul Wulff thinks he might have bitten off more than he can chew?  Perhaps he can take solace in the fact that being credited with the worst loss in school history would only be a resume-style bullet point beneath an 0-12 season, which seems imminent at this point.  From here on out, we will refer to holding out on picking WSU to lose in the survivor pool as the ace up your sleeve. 

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