1. USC 99 (Last:
1)
There really is no point in trying
to deny it; the Pac X is Southern kal and everyone else. At least that is
how the nation perceives it, and after last weekend, that might be a good
thing. Foreseeing as close to a sure thing as you can get in the gambling
realm, the Boot Computer laid down a substantial sum on OSU to fold like one of
Tressel's sweater vests. Contrary to what was earlier reported, none of
the winnings were used to bribe John Ryan to steamroll into Charlie Weis' knee.
2. Oregon 85
(Last: 4)
Trying to ditch their image of all style and no
substance, the Quackers showed some guts in West Lafayette, overcoming a
17-point road deficit, winning in overtime and keeping some semblance of respect
for the conference. The fact that they had to sacrifice a quarterback
isn't even news anymore, but that it was Justin Roper's second go-round with the
DL might prove ominous for his future in green and gaudy. A home affair with the
Smurf-Turfers provides one last tune up before league play resumes.
3. Arizona 80
(Last: 2)
Two steps forward and three steps back for Stoop's Troops
last Saturday night in Albuquerque. Prowling for their first winning
season since '98, the mildkittens didn't have an answer for New Mexico's
scatback, who shredded the young defense for 158 yards. Zona does
have the Pac Ten's best-kept secret in punter Keenyn "Reggie Roby" Crier, who
booted a 70-yarder, the third of his young career. Tuitama and Co. will be looking for
a redemption performance this week against a vulnerable UCLA secondary.
4. Arizona State 79 (Last: 3)
The stunning loss to UNLV makes the cynic in me call for
a point-shaving investigation. It isn't much of a leap considering ASU
athletes have been busted for such practices before, and the opponent's hometown
is self-explanatory. [Ed. note: Vegas doesn't post lines on UNLV games
because of the risk of foul play.] None the less, the Solar
Satans were not immune to the conference malaise that swept over the West Coast
last weekend, as visions of a BCS season ran down the drain alongside the
postgame vomit. No time to feel sorry for yourself, as second-ranked UGA
comes to town in a BCS must-win of their own.
5. kal 75 (Last:
5)
Don't let the final score fool you. The weenies were
violated slowly and painfully by the Terps. The vaunted kal running game
was held to 38 yards on 23 carries, possibly suffering from the kind of
overconfidence you get from walloping the Cougs. Kevin Riley did his best
to stage a miraculous comeback (and racked up quite the throng of garbage-time
stats), but ultimately the gun sounded and Tedford had to tip his hat to the
better game plan from "The Fridge."
6. Stanford 74 (Last:
7)
On second thought, let's go ahead and postpone the game
in deference to Hurricane Ike. That way we can play TCU with our revamped
offense, lead by college football's highest-rated freshman passer. The
Cardinal Nation's modest aspirations of bowling this year took a hit
when neither Ike nor Andrew Luck come to pass, dropping our mark to
1-2. SJSU might be just what the doctor ordered for a bruised ego, but
fans and players alike will be glued to the drama unfolding at
quarterback.
7. Oregon State 73 (Last:
8)
"Gnaw On" tallied their first line in the victory column
when they ravished cream puff Hawaii. Their defense, particularly the run
defense, seems to have shorn up with the return of some key cogs and the offense
remains steady in their output. With two weeks to rest and prepare for the Toejams, RIley and staff will explore all avenues in
devising a plan of attack. Good luck with that Mike.
8. UCLA 67 (Last:
6)
59-0. Enough said? Probably, but that won't
stop me from piling on. Had BYU not shown mercy, there is no doubt they
would have hung 80 on the shell-shocked Ruin squad. If Neweasel is taking
suggestions for his next round of newspaper ads, how about a veiled attempt at
self-depricating humor, guaranteeing an offensive fireworks display at all home
games? There is plenty of blame to go around, as El Lay running backs have accounted for more
carries (47) than yards (38) in their first two games.
9. Washington 37 (Last:
9)
Presumably the decision to schedule Oklahoma was made
back when the Huskies were respectable. Still, one of Tyrone's few
redeeming qualities as a coach has been his ability to get his teams to bounce
back from adversity. It must be hard to watch helplessly as your defense
allows Sam Bradford to complete 25% of his pass attempts for touchdowns (no
joke) while your all-world QB exposes himself to injury by taking on linebackers
in the open field. Fear not Purple People Eaters, Willingham guarantees
a victory in the intra-squad game during the bye week.
10. Washington State 16 (Last:
10)
I'm running out of superlatives to describe the woefully
inept Cougar defense, and it's only week three. Baylor's 475-yard ground
attack pushed the Cougs' average to 273 yielded per game, far and away the worst
in the nation. The scary thing is that Wazzu hasn't even faced the most
potent portion of their schedule yet, as even more records of futility are sure
to accrue at the feet of $¢, Oregon St and Toby Gerhart. On the plus side,
by moving their last game up to Friday, Wulff and crew have one more day to prepare for sub-divison
Portland State, their last chance at avoiding a winless season.
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