The Bootleg Archives
Original Publish Data:
Nov. 21, 1997
Vol. IV, Nr. 11
Top 10 Big Game Weenies
Generations of
Cardinalmaniacs™ have had the privilege of taking solace in
the knowledge that however inept our beloved Cardinal (read:
Indians), there will be Cal bears ready to
lower the bar in a perversely inverse version of one-upmanship.
Like players in an epic tragedy, Big Game compels Cal
denizens to add to the ignominious weenie legend. The 100th
renewal of this tragic tale once again provides us with that
familiar warm glow that comes from the metaphysical certainty
that no matter how severe the pain and suffering inflicted by
Cardinal miscues and frailties, a Cal
weenie will always provide us with a performance even more
classless, more comical or just plain more awful than even the
most optimistic Card Backer could ever imagine! Here are a few of
our all-time favorite weenies and their "reason 'd
weenie":
(10) Mike
White and Roger Theder. White and Theder are a classic
case-study on the curse of weeniedom. As the offensive brain
trust for John Ralston at Stanford, they helped produce two Rose
Bowl wins, a Heisman trophy and a 7-2 Big Game record. As the
coaching staff for Cal from
‘72-‘81 they produced zero Rose Bowls, no Heismans and
a 4-6 Big Game record before being serially ushered out of
weenieville. Special weenie credits for their prevent defense in
‘74 that allowed Guy Benjamin, Brad Williams and Mike
Langford to pull off their magic.
(9) Steve
Mariucci. As Bruce Snyder's O-Coordinator in ‘90,
"Mooch" called a pass play on 3rd and 7 with 2 minutes
to play. The incompletion stopped the clock and left Stanford
with enough time to stage an historic comeback. As Head Coach in
‘96, Mariucci didn't get the opportunity for a truly weenie
call, as Stanford smoked the bears.
(8) Russell
White. Poor Russell had a credible career both academically
and on the gridiron. Too bad in the one Big Game that his team
had a chance to win (’90), he was the last weenie to allow
the ball to trickle through his fingers, allowing Stanford to
recover its desperation on-side kick.
(7) Doug Brien.
Missed three FGs early in the ‘91 game. Any one of these
could have changed the momentum in a game that turned into a
Vardell-led Cardinal rout. Brien earned graduate weenie credits
for botching multiple game-losing FG attempts in his brief tenure
with the 49ers.
(6) John Belli.
A senior who had never beaten Stanford, Belli took two full steps
to hit Jason Palumbus late on an incomplete out-of-bounds pass
with :05 seconds left in the '90 Big Game. The resulting 15-yard
penalty set up the winning field goal for Stanford’s Hopkins
in "The Revenge”!
(5) Weenie
Fans. Berkeley followers have a Big Game blotter that would
do Manson proud. From petty vandalism and larceny, to almost
single-handedly causing alcohol to be banned from Stanford
Stadium with their pathetic performance at the ‘89 Big Brawl
(seven arrests), Cal fans always find a way
to reach new lows and inspire their team to do the same. They
would be a real menace if their ugly celebratory outbursts
weren't so infrequent and short-lived.
(4) Ike Boothe.
After being toasted more than a few times by Justin Armour and
muffing a punt that led to a touchdown, Mr. Booth decided to pull
an Ike Turner, slugging a Stanford yell-leader after the game.
(3) Anthony
Washington. Attained the exalted heights of weeniedom by
being disqualified from the only two Big Games in which he
appeared. In ‘77, he put a late hit on James Lofton in the
end zone after a Benjamin to Lofton TD-pass and in ‘78 he
took a flagrant foul out-of-bounds against Darrin Nelson. In
classic weenie fashion, Washington was stopped in his quest to go
4-for-4. He flunked out of Cal and
completed his eligibility at Fresno State.
(2) Brian
Treggs. King of the trash-talking weenies, Treggs was flagged
15 yards for talking smack on Cal's first
offensive play in the ’90 game. In ‘91, he insured his
weenie status for all-time by being personally responsible for three
unsportsmanlike penalties. Never did move to Palo Alto.
(1) Kevin Moen.
What else can we say about someone whose sole claim to fame is an
association with a well-documented illegal act? G. Gordon Liddy,
Ollie North and Larry Flynt all at least served some time for
their illegal deeds. Of course they didn't spend time at Cal.
Time and space
doesn't permit us to present the unabridged list here. Some (red:
not all!) honorable mentions include Mike “Insurance
Man” Pawlawski, Isaac Curtis, Leland Rix, Joe Kapp, Ray
Wilsey, Marv Levy, Dwight Garner, Mariet Ford, the paid-off refs
in ’82, Joe Starkey, Oski, Gilby and Chuck Muncie.
The 100th renewal
of the Big Game is likely to inspire an as-of-yet unknown Cal weenie to commit treachery, a physical miscue
or a mental gaffe that will become the next entry in the weenie
legend.
[Written by “Died in Red,”
with inspiration and suggestions from fellow Bootboarders,
especially “Orange Mark”]