The Bootleg Archives
Original Published:
Nov. 19, 1994
Vol. I, Nr. 12
Big Game Traditions The PC
Army Has Defeated
1)
"The Bonfire": Oh sure, they're holding a
"symbolic mini-blaze" at Arrillaga Plaza Thurs. night.
Bring marshmallows!
2)
"The San Francisco Street Rally": So, a few
people were run over and we trashed Aquatic Park a few times, big
deal!
3)
"Painting Things Red": Get caught painting anything
these days and it's "30 days, $10,000, 40 lashes and 200
hours of community service". People, painting things red in
Berkeley is a service to the community! Nevertheless, look
for a few courageous rebels to produce a major display of
Cardinal "colorization" as you drive past South City
this week.
4)
"Stealing the Axe": What used to be considered
"creative" and "demonstrative of school
spirit" can be so no more. In the 90's, the formerly
celebrated practice of abducting mascots and
"borrowing" game trophies are now simply
"felonies" in the minds of LSJU administrators.
5)
"Axe Trophy Correction": We had a long-standing
tradition of changing the score from the Screw of '82 (Cal
25-20) back to its proper 20-19 Cardinal victory. However, our
outrageously spineless PC University has elected to discontinue
this practice for "undisclosed reasons". Can they
really be that friggin' uptight?
6)
"Buns of Steel": Remember that super-athletic
Nigerian guy who used to run with the big Stanford flag? We LOVED
that guy! Possessed exceptional flag-guarding and rail-leaping
skills. We need him back! Help us find him? We'll pay!
[Editor’s
Note: With the help of long-time Bootleg supporter Bob
Hellman, we did fly Buns of Steel (aka Seye Ewedemi) back for Big
Game 1996 in Berkeley. As many of you will recall, we got him on
the field that day and he ran the flag with as much power and
grace as in his “prime” – a great memory!]
7)
"ScoreCard": Getting liquored at Raspberry
Ravine and then stopping off at Mills College for a little
post-game pillage.
8)
"Gaities": This traditional collection of skits
and parodies has been renamed and is now to be known as
"Alternative Humor Night"
The
Dreaded Thought Police [DTP], who by the way are welcome to
osculate our Pocahontean posteriors, have totally put the
proverbial collar on enthusiasm in American collegiate athletics.
We talked at length with the Stanford Axe Committee, which
admitted that without possession of "The Holy Hatchet"
for the first time in seven years, they've got nothing to do this
week other than sell pins! They did not even get to attend the
Big Game luncheons this week!